One of the most distinguishing and charming characteristics of the Albanian people is their wonderful hospitality.

Albanians treat their guests like royalty. When visiting an Albanian home, even just for a coffee, they will bring out a smorgasbord of goodies- chocolates, candies and caramels, something cold to drink like juice or soda, Turkish coffee to follow, a sweet liquor for the women and of course, Albanian “raki” for the men.  As your visit lasts a couple hours, the hostess will keep bouncing back into the kitchen to get fruit and salty snacks like pretzels and peanuts.

If you are visiting an Albanian family for dinner, don’t be surprised if they give you the best part of the meat, like the lamb’s head (with eyeballs still attached). This is the considered the choicest part and goes to the most important person at the table, which is YOU, their guest.

In the villages, you may find the hostess bringing in a basin to wash your feet and/or hands before you sit down for a meal.

The way Albanians kick off a visit when you sit down in their homes is by toasting to your health and happiness, saying “Gezuar” (guzz- u’- are) which you repeat after them and then clink your raki glasses together. They don’t expect you to necessarily drink their throat-burning specialty drink, but in order for the host to feel like he can drink freely, you at least need to bring the glass to your lips. If you don’t touch your drink or your food, then neither will the host/hostess feel the freedom to do so.

Albanians are very generous, not only in the abundant snacks or meal they set before you, but also in wanting to give you something to remember them by. I remember many years ago when I was living in Korca, a southeastern city, when my mom came to visit me in Albania. We went to my next door neighbor’s for a visit and had a very memorable evening. As we were getting ready to go, Frida, our hostess, left the room for a moment and then came back with a beautiful silver spoon that she wanted my mom to have. It was an antique heirloom from Frida’s family. Even as my mom tried to refuse this generous and touching gift, they emphatically insisted that she keep it.

A word of advice here: be careful about complimenting too many things (like ornaments, decorations, etc.) in an Albanian home. Their hospitality, generosity and desire to please you as their guest may compel them to give you the very thing you are complimenting. For example, let’s say you like a painting on their wall and praise them for how beautiful it is– don’t be surprised if they actually give it to you as you are leaving.

Can you imagine if this endearing aspect of Albanian hospitality played out in a similar fashion in American homes?? “Wow, I really like your Plasma 54″ Flat Screen Television” you comment during a visit to a new friend’s home…(hint hint). Nope, no bite.

Well, this is a very unique characteristic to the Albanian culture and one that makes indelible impressions upon all those who visit this lovely country! I often tell people that Albania is a like a magnet– once you visit this country and spend time with Albanians in their homes, you’ll be drawn back to visit again and again.

Photo courtesy of: Gaston Thauvin

One of the first things quite confusing to foreigners upon arriving in Albania is the way Albanians say “Yes” or “No” non-verbally with their head movements. Traditionally, Albanians say “Yes” with a shake of their heads back and forth the same way that we Americans say “No”.  And they say “No” with an up and down movement of their heads, just like our “Yes”.

Talk about mix-up’s in communication.

I remember that first summer in ’92 when I’d be in a dorm room full of 8 or 9 university women sharing with them about my life, faith and about American culture. Their faces would be transfixed on me (I was one of the first Americans they had ever met)- and occasionally they’d move their heads back and forth in agreement and undivided attention. But seeing this movement of their heads from side to side and coming from my American culture where that means a big “no-no”—I’d be thinking to myself, “Oh no, I’ve completely lost them, they have no idea what I’m talking about, they hate me”… until my translating friend would encourage me saying, “Keep going Tammy, they’re very interested in what you’re saying”—and I’d then remember our first cultural lesson on communication about ‘yes’ and ‘no’s.

Over the years, Albanians themselves have really evolved in their non-verbal use of the head shake for communicating “Yes” and “No”. Many of them, due to numerous interactions with foreigners, have adapted to tourists’ use of head shakes for saying “Yes” or “No”. This can really complicate things, as you don’t know if they are saying “yes” with their heads according to your culture, or  “no” according to theirs and vice versa.

Then the dilemma soon became “how should I respond when they ask me a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ question??”.  I realized that if I just bobbed my head all over the place and actually learned how to say the words “Yes” and “No” in Albanian, then it wouldn’t really matter in the long-run as together we’d find our groove of communication. Thankfully, Albanians are very gracious with foreigners who seek to learn their language.

Photo by Adam Ciesielski

Before you freak out wondering if this is a tale about a missionary drinking and driving, let me add an “oA” at the end of “DUI” to explain it better—“Driving Under the Influence… of Albania”. (Of course, I guess the “A” could stand for alcohol too, but in this case it doesn’t).

Driving in Albania is crazy. And that is an understatement. I remember back in 1992 during my first visit to this peculiar country, that there were practically no cars on the road. Everyone walked arm in arm or rode their bicycles. In fact, one of the most interesting sights was seeing a whole of family of four on one bicycle riding on the boulevard—a child on the handle bars, the husband on the bike seat—his wife on the back fender, balancing herself trying to keep her skirt out of the tire wheel all the while holding their baby child in her arms. Even more fascinating was seeing this spectacle when it was raining—and the only difference was that the husband would be steering the bike with one hand while gripping a big umbrella which covered his family with the other. Quite an amazing feat!

Back to driving. Even as more and more cars appeared on the scene in the 90’s, traffic lights didn’t appear till much later. Not that it really mattered—there seems to be an unwritten rule of the road in Albania—“Every man for himself”. Very few drivers actually respect the rules of the road. And as thousands of new cars and new drivers are added to the mix each month, this has made driving in Albania quite tricky.

Though I never owned a car in Albania until after I was married a couple years ago, I did have quite a few opportunities to drive our organization’s Land Rovers and vans for various projects.

It was on one of these projects, taking a JESUS Film team back to our base camp, that I experienced my first DUI. I was on a two-lane road and the guy in front of me was moving slower than I wanted him to be, and so, quite out of my normally respectful driving nature, I swerved onto the right shoulder of the road and passed this guy. The Americans with me were taken aback by this unexpected move and illegal passing on the right. I don’t think they knew quite what to say to me.  I too, sadly realized that I deserved a “DUI oA”. I was driving under the influence of this insane driving culture.

Driving in Albania has truly become an ‘extreme sport’— and what’s really scary is when I take my “DUI’s of Albania” back to my home culture in the U.S. But we’ll save those stories for another day.

Question: What driving experiences have you had while visiting a foreign land?

…when doing a visit to an Albanian home!

There is an unspoken “no shoes indoors” rule in Albania that is important for visiting guests to know about. Though uncertain as to where this custom originally comes from, it exists for very practical reasons and is an important part of adapting to the culture.

Albanians keep their homes spic and span– many don’t have the commodities and conveniences of a power vacuum (or a maid)– and so they mop the tiled floor and sweep the carpets with a thick broom 2-3 times a day. Since the biggest method of transportation traditionally has been by foot, outside shoes naturally become dusty or muddy and are not very friendly to the freshly cleaned floors.

When you go for a visit to someone’s home, even though the hostess will vehemently insist that you leave your shoes on, if you want to show true respect and an ‘insider understanding’ of the culture, then you will remove your shoes at the door and they will provide house slippers or “shapka” for your feet. Though it may be hard to go against the hostess’ wishes who’s exclaiming, “No, leave your shoes on, you’re a guest!”, you can be confident that you are doing the right thing and that the hostess is inwardly jumping for joy over the fact that you took your shoes off and won’t be tracking all of Tirana inside her home.

Though this tradition was a little awkward at first when I came to Albania (especially if any of my toes were poking through holes in my socks), I’ve really grown to appreciate it– now it is so natural to pop off my shoes at the door as soon as I enter a home.

What actually seems strange to me is when I’m back in the States and am “allowed” and even expected to walk on carpets in my shoes– it feels so unnatural and like something is amiss. I especially cringe when I see someone casually lounging on a couch or bed with their outdoor shoes on. I find myself thinking, “The gumption that person has!” and I want to shout out “What are you doing with your shoes still on? You’re supposed to leave them at the door! Not only are you tracking filth into the house, but you’re also ruining the poor couch!” But instead I take a deep breath, recalling the crux of my cross-cultural training which emphasized, “Different is not bad, just different”, and remind myself that this is ‘normal’ here in the United States and for the majority of my life I’ve done the very same thing.

Photo courtesy of Carol Dias